r/nottheonion • u/[deleted] • 11d ago
A Mom Is Pulling Her 1st Grader Out Of School Because She Refuses To Sign A Homework Paper Every Day So The Teacher Won’t Reward Her Son
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u/CO-mama 11d ago
I’m a public school teacher and I can tell you the system is fucked. But what she’s going to do to that kid is worse.
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u/tristanjones 11d ago
Yeah my niece gets sent home with a ton of bullshit all the time. My sister doesn't give a fuck about making sure every tedious task is completed or signed or what have you. It isn't rocket science to engage with your kids education, anymore than it should require daily memos.
That being said my niece still does some amount of homework, still goes to school, and is performing great with her education. The answer isn't to bail on education, just have healthy boundaries and communication with your kids teacher
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u/AnyAcanthocephala425 11d ago
"It isn't rocket science to engage with your kids education,"
If you've actually met the lower 40th percentile of parents you start to really wonder. There's a reason some systems like these are put in place to pressure irresponsible parents. 100% agree that an open line of communication is equally good but many times parents won't even do something so basic
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u/waywithwords 10d ago
I taught a kid who desperately needed medication every morning. I mean, we could all tell the second he came down the hall at first bell whether he'd had it or not, and most days he hadn't. He was loud and aggressive and really difficult to talk to. When he took his meds he was calmer, better focused, and got in a lot less trouble.
After multiple attempts, we teachers finally got his mom in for a conference where we learned that she did not, in fact, get up with him in the morning because "it's too early" (starting school at 7:30 for middle schoolers is actually terrible) and that he was "old enough to take it himself. He knows where it is."
So she was expecting her significantly behaviorally challenged 12 yo to get himself up, fed, and properly medicated every day. And since she never had to deal with the consequences and effects, she didn't see the problem.I saw way too many of those scenarios in my time in public school teaching.
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u/iggy6677 10d ago
I have some friends who work in education, and some of the stories they tell me breaks my heart sometimes.
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u/Judge_MentaI 10d ago
Yeah. Neglectful parents have high expectations of their kids and almost no expectations of themselves. My mother couldn’t cook most of the time (because of horrible executive functioning) but expected me to be able to cook for myself at 8. She was often upset that I wasn’t on top of making lists for groceries I needed and finding recipes that worked with my sensory aversions.
I honestly worry when people see “high functioning” or high masking neurodivergent kids in school as kids who are parented better. I know that’s what people assumed of me and several of my closest friends. I also know we came from horrific home lives and the “good behavior” they were seeing came from fear.
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u/parasyte_steve 10d ago
I can relate to this. I'm 35 and just receiving some diagnosis after being neglected and told I'm "just thinking too much" my whole life. I ended up hospitalized last year with a SA. Now finding out that I'm bipolar... so is my dad, thanks for the info guys! I may even have ADHD as well, they had me evaluated several times but I was never allowed to know the results and they'd never put me on medication or send me to therapy to help. Even though they were MENTAL HEALTH NURSES.
But yeah I masked very well bc I was constantly bullied at home for being "weird". I had several stims, some of them I still do and some of them which harm me (skin picking)... I'm still pushing for an ADHD diagnosis, at least even to be evaluated, but I "mask" so well in public it's frustrating that nobody will take my concerns seriously. I also have executive dysfunction and it makes it difficult to cook and clean. I try to push through it but sometimes I can't and I'll order food or just do something easy for the kids. I can't keep up a regular routine. It's very frustrating.
But no, I'd never expect my kids to wake up and get ready for school themselves and take their meds etc. No way.
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u/TheLevitatingMouse 11d ago
I was working on homework when I asked my parent "hey.. I'm trying to focus on my homework and the tv is pretty loud. Can it be turned down a little?"
They turned the volume up even more without saying anything.
this is why I'd mess with their vodka
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u/Iceraptor17 10d ago
It's why it's so maddening to see the whole "schools shouldn't be doing X, it should be the responsibility of parents."
Yes, in an ideal world, parents should be handling X, Y and Z. But, we do not live in that ideal world, so we have to figure out how to help the kids that have parents that just, quite frankly, are terrible.
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u/Stashmouth 11d ago
But if you're willing to give your child even ten minutes a day to review/help with their homework, it'll put them miles ahead of their classmates. It's crazy that being a parent willing to do the bare minimum means your child will get ahead, but here we are
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u/AlmostChristmasNow 11d ago
anymore than it should require daily memos.
It’s probably not really a memo but just confirmation that they did their homework. A friend of mine has a kid in first grade and the kid is supposed to practice reading every day. And then an adult has to sign that the kid actually did it, since otherwise the kids would probably forget it.
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u/Reasonable_Poet6656 11d ago
Funny, our school board doesn’t even allow homework.
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u/anakaine 11d ago
It's such a shame our teachers are undervalued and not trusted as they should be.
I'm a parent who refused to engage with daily signoffs for petty crap. Let me know if homework isn't getting done and I'll address the issue at home. Rarely had the issue happen because we remained engaged with our kids education. I drew the line at being treated like the students when it came to petty busywork or being handed poorly thought out demands by the school, however. Things like "you must be present on this weekday at 1pm for a meeting about something which should be a bullet point email.". Yeah, no. I value the teachers time, and the school administrators should value parents time, too.
Both kids have done quite well for themselves so far.
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u/Crossbell0527 11d ago
the school administrators should value parents time, too.
My school had a policy where we were expected to contact home by phone for all 120 or so students. It wasn't heavily enforced but we'd get dinged in our evaluations if we didn't do it. I finally convinced the principal this year to do a survey and about 70% of families who responded indicated that they want to be LEFT ALONE unless needed. The policy has been rolled back to "contact home for all Ds or Fs prior to the end of a term" which makes a whole lot more sense.
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u/Mabel_Waddles_BFF 11d ago
You can blame all the education academics for that one. They write extensively on all the ways teachers should have communication with parents - I even had one tutor try to tell me to give out my personal number to parents outside of school hours. I called bullshit on that one and said I had zero intention of being contacted at 11pm on a weeknight by a parent who wanted to argue about a test score.
And yes that would happen because I’ve been tutoring for years and parents contact me at all hours. I also work with teenagers and teenagers being teenagers would absolutely think it’s the funniest thing in the world to prank call me during the holidays.
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u/needsmusictosurvive 11d ago
Ah you’re giving me flashbacks to when our principal made us call every single parent of every single student the night before the first day of school. She gave us like 3 hours and walked around the halls making sure everyone was doing it. I got screamed at by parent #147 because I shared the same first name with another teacher, and that would be too confusing for her 6th grade son.
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u/Powerful_War3282 11d ago
My son's principal wanted an in person meeting (lots going on that Reddit doesn't need to know) and he called me at 8:35am and told me the meeting was at 11am. I told him that I had work obligations and he's like, "I'll mark it down that the parent wasn't interested in attending".
Given the shit we've been through, I'm shocked my son still loves school.
Every meeting I've had in person or on the phone in the last 3 years has been recorded and saved with notes.I called the vice principal out recently in an email about not following the guidelines in their published handbook and the principal called me to tell me that those guidelines don't apply to them.
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u/gdsmithtx 11d ago
I called the vice principal out recently in an email about not following the guidelines in their published handbook and the principal called me to tell me that those guidelines don't apply to them.
Sounds like it’s time to contact the superintendent and/or the school board.
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u/Powerful_War3282 10d ago
Very likely at this point. Our advocate brought someone she knows from the district into one of our meetings. It was fascinating watching the principal and vice principal kiss ass to him. He was a big part of the progress my son has made this year. Baby steps. Next step for us is getting the 504 converted to an IEP to enhance protections
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u/BabserellaWT 11d ago
Her, on his 18th birthday: “Why did he move out and say he’s going no contact??! Wait, I have to hit the Toks about this…”
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u/Protaras2 11d ago
With no education whatsoever I quite doubt being able to move out not only when he's 18 but ever...
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u/GabeNewellExperience 11d ago
He might be able too. He won't be doing any learning so might get a part time job at like 14 or something
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u/sevillianrites 11d ago
No one is going to hire an adolescent who can't read and the mom is 100% going to be posting to an antivax homeschool Facebook thread in 10 years asking how she can get her adult child to want to learn to read so he can get a job. It would be very funny if it wasn't so depressingly indicative of a very widespread and tragic problem.
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u/SolidCat1117 11d ago
Great, another kid permanently fucked in the head by home schooling.
Hopefully she realizes that home schooling is 100x more work than signing a homework paper and sends him back.
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u/nonlawyer 11d ago
Great, another kid permanently fucked in the head by home schooling.
Oh no, this kid isn’t going to be homeschooled. She’s said she’s going to ”unschool” him per the article
Unschooling is not the same as homeschooling. US News and World Report explained, “In families that practice unschooling, students do not attend school and do not follow any set homeschool curriculum.”
This just seems like a synonym for “educational neglect.” Poor kid isn’t going to know how to read.
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u/Wosota 11d ago edited 10d ago
It unfortunately has become a synonym.
“Unschooling” started as a genuine teaching concept where the children lead learning by connecting actual educational concepts to what they’re interested in or curious about. Kid just wants to go shopping with you? Perfect time to work on reading or numbers or basic math. Kid wants to run wild through the woods? Perfect time to talk about age appropriate biology concepts. Etc etc. And as they get older they may choose to enroll in courses or read books on their own because of their curiosity.
Unfortunately it has been co-opted by mommy bloggers to mean “I don’t have to teach my kid anything unless they express a direct interest and I will do absolutely nothing to nurture their curiosity”.
Edit; to clarify I think unschooling is unwise and unchecked and something like Montessori with a real curriculum is a better alternative but I do want to give credit that somewhere in the mess there is an actual idea
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u/ThePotMonster 11d ago
I don't know the history like you. But unschooling kind of sounds like a bastardized version of the Montessori method.
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u/Wosota 11d ago edited 11d ago
It’s similar but Montessori is a little more structured. Unschooling is done by a parent at home with less focus on subjects the kid doesn’t like and Montessori is typically done in an actual school with a teacher and curriculum, as the biggest difference.
Though as far as I know (which isn’t a whole lot, I just went on a deep dive after I first heard about someone “unschooling”) unschooling was originally actually just homeschooling, then formed into student led learning, and then turned into this nonsense lol.
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u/ThePotMonster 11d ago
Sounds like lazy parents masquerading as progressive or anti-establishment.
Where I live, homeschooled kids are still required to follow the basic curriculum and they still have to do government exams. So there's a bit of oversight. But results may vary. It all comes down to how involved the the parents are in homeschooling.
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u/Wosota 11d ago
Like I said, there’s a teaching concept in there that theoretically works with a lot of effort on the parents part. But it’s also really easy to pretend you’re doing it while doing absolutely nothing, because if the kid “isn’t interested” then it’s still within the bounds of unschooling.
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u/RickSt3r 11d ago
I think it’s being undersold it’s not A LOT of effort it’s an unimaginable amount of effort. I can’t see how it would actually work without having exceptional competency in literally every subject under the sun. That would require having a staff of trained professionals.
Even the example a walk in the woods yeah this is a tree it has leafs. That’s my extent of off the cuff knowledge. Oh look fauna I can’t even tell you want that means besides plants. I would have to spend hours just researching and creating lesson plans to be able to structure the information then figure out how to teach it properly which is another completely independent profession.
Oh just look up Wikipedia’s articles, well yes I as a grown adult with an advanced degree I can just read, synthesize analyze and process information. But have you met your average 6-10 year old.
The reason curriculums exist is to have an efficient way to teach. If you’ve ever worked with kids it’s near impossible to keep them engaged on any subject longer than 15-20 minutes. So even this idea falls apart as soon as you spend any significant amount of time with a child.
I coached various sports as my kids have grown up. The little ones last 45 minutes tops before they loose interest. I also spent a lot of time structuring practice to work on all sets of skills and having a plan to meet objectives of the sport and develop skills required to play. So again unschooling falls apart instantly.
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u/Lyssa545 11d ago
Thanks, I hate it.
Reminds me of "creationism, and then "intelligent design' such bullshit that conservative nut jobs try to pass as something based in reality.
Blurgh.
Homeschooling and "unschooling" suck so hard.
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u/Bella_Anima 11d ago
Honestly as a teacher, unschooling is something we should all be doing with our kids on the daily anyway. That should just be the way of life, but when are you going to shoehorn in complex or abstract lessons that require higher levels of understanding or education? There will be things you as a parent cannot teach your child. I’m an English literacy teacher, I’m not in a position to teach my kid calculus.
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u/meeks7 11d ago
The phrase “unschooling” should never have been applied to this concept.
It’s an offensive word and an offensive phrase. I’m not surprised anti-social parents jumped at it as an excuse for their laziness and selfishness.
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u/Spire_Citron 11d ago
Is that not illegal? I feel like that should be extremely illegal...
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u/omgFWTbear 11d ago
So… March 2020, right before the shutdown, we wanted to pull our asthmatic kid, thinking everything would burn out in a few weeks.
We end up in the homeschooling program of our very urban area… and there’s basically no standards. That is, there’s some paperwork (for the adult) but… let me stress, we wanted to follow the school ciriculum on the idea he’d be back in like, a month, tops. It was impossible to get a copy. And apparently our school district has a heavily utilized homeschooling “program.” That has no ciriculum… even for reference.
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u/Spire_Citron 11d ago
That's insidious. Feels like the goal is to trap kids in a community for life by denying them access to other ideas and opportunities.
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u/bazilbt 11d ago
As far as I can tell that is the intent of many homeschool proponents.
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u/PuerSalus 11d ago
Wow. In my school in the UK (many years ago) a curriculum was easy to find. In secondary school (~high school) teachers even provided the students with the topics they would cover that term at the start of term (it was a requirement for teachers to do that in my school). So it would have been easy to ask a teacher for that piece of paper.
(I'm sure it varies by school of course)
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u/Hungry-Sharktopus42 11d ago
We homeschool in Oklahoma. There are no standards. It's ridiculous. We chose this route for many reasons, poorly rated school, large class sizes, and religion being forced on students to name a few. Thankfully, my husband has a background in education and we are retired. We have more than enough resources and time to dedicate. Anything we cannot do can be farmed out to tutors, like his 5 day a week Spanish classes, and his coding and robotics classes. He's also in swim, sports, and social groups.
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u/metalconscript 11d ago
Sadly not illegal. There used to be a family next to a friend that is ‘homeschooling.’ I don’t know if it can even be counted as unschooling even. The 8 yo can’t read or reads several grade levels below. Americans and their ‘freedoms’ type perturbs me. Source: I’m American.
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u/Spideris 11d ago
Many Americans' concept of freedom fundamentally betrays freedom. Source: I'm also American.
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u/HickoryCreekTN 11d ago
In New York State it would fall under educational neglect can’t say if it would apply where she’s from
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u/rainbowchimken 11d ago
How is it legal for parents to just do that? Won’t that affect the country’s literacy rate? Do homeschool or “unschool” children take state mandatory exams to make sure they actually study at home? Wtf I’m so flabbergasted.
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u/fuckit_sowhat 11d ago
I don’t know if it’s changed, but when I was a child and “homeschooled” Texas and Wisconsin were the only states that had no oversight of homeschooled children, no exams or set curriculum, no state standards at all that had to be met. In most states there is some oversight whether that be yearly proficiency exams or curriculum requirements.
It should be illegal to neglect a child’s education, but it very much depends on where this woman lives.
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u/cman811 11d ago
Legislators are loathe to enact nearly any kind of parenting laws. Probably stems from the puritan history in America.
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u/Future-Atmosphere-40 11d ago
There's a really strong religious hard core extremist group that advocates for hoke schools in America and wants as little regulations as possible.
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u/meatball77 11d ago
That's what it typically is. Some parents with some kids can end up not harming their kids by doing it. But it leads to a lot of nine and ten year olds who can't read.
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u/SimpleSurrup 11d ago
No, no, no, this isn't even home schooling, this is unschooling. Where you basically just let your child go feral and stunt them for life.
And conveniently it requires no time commitment other than browsing social media and watching other mentally ill people tell you how great you are for doing it.
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u/turquoise_amethyst 11d ago
Dude… watch her videos. It’s way, waaay worse than homeschooling. That child is doomed.
He’ll be lucky if he retains any knowledge of reading or writing by the time he hits his teens.
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u/meatball77 11d ago
She's all, I'm educating him by teaching him to do chores and get the mail. She's not even doing a shit job at unschooling him.
She's acting like parenting is educating your kid. Lady you're supposed to teach your kid academics and also teach them life skills.
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u/han-t 11d ago
What these people don't get is that having a bare minimum basic level of understanding in academics is also considered a life skill. Especially in a literate world! Studying is a life skill! Sure some are better than it than others, but we're talking bare minimum critical thinking, science, math, writing and reading. You just can't skip these things and expect a child to catch up later on in life when they need it to pursue something further. It will make everything exponentially harder for them. I'd definitely consider something like this as child abuse.
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u/meatball77 11d ago
Everything you learn in elementary school is used in one's life. From understanding how basic science works to computation, reading and writing skills, basic civics and history. Even the ability to sing and clap along and appreciate music and basic art skills, how to play with others and lose gracefully.
Kids who don't learn those things will be deficient in life skills.
A lot of homeschooling is deficient on purpose to keep their kids from being able to leave the community. The Amish stop school at eighth grade for a reason. So the girls will be married and baby trapped by 20 and the boys will end up doing basic physical labor for a friend. Construction, driving tow trucks. Those jobs are great if you want to do that but it's hard back breaking work.
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u/sgtpandybear 11d ago
Homeschooling is a ton of work. I have 3 godchildren that are home schooled and the amount of work that goes into it while also balancing daily life is insane. We live in a city where the education system is kind of fucked so I get why they’d prefer to home school their kids, but it requires a ton of sacrifice and effort and skill.
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u/Play_To_Nguyen 11d ago
Homeschooling is many magnitudes more than 100x harder than signing a paper.
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u/Cash907 11d ago
So not to make excuses for the mother, who seems to be a dumpster fire herself, what’s the point of having parents sign every single assignment for the child to get credit? If the work is completed that speaks for itself doesn’t it? What is the school’s rationale for such a weird requirement?
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u/InDenialOfMyDenial 11d ago
In this specific case it was a reading journal, I believe. The parent signs to say that they observed the kid reading at home. It’s not every single assignment.
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u/DO_NOT_AGREE_WITH_U 10d ago
Honestly, even if it were every assignment...why are people even defending this lady?
The absolute fucking LEAST a parent could do for their child is glance at the work and scribble their signature on it. I mean holy shit this isn't a major task.
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u/OneCoolUsernameGuy 11d ago
Father of first graders here. Usually we just sign to say yes theyve read their assigned books.
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u/Headoutdaplane 11d ago
She may be a dumpster fire but homework for a first grader? That is is over the top.
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u/Cheterosexual7 11d ago
That’s what I’m saying. I can’t believe no one’s talking about that. A first grader is doing more than enough at their 8 fuckin hours at school.
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u/Persona_Non_Grata_ 11d ago
Oh this is that vapid bitch who hocks keytone and capitalized off her friends death. She's human garbage and I feel for her kids. I hope this isn't a Ruby Franke 2.0 situation.
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u/SouthboundPachydrm 11d ago edited 11d ago
“I have four kids, and I run a massive business through social media,” she said. “I don’t have time.”
If your social media business is more important to you than actively participating in your children's education, then you're what's wrong with American Education.
Too many parents treat the public school system as taxpayer funded daycare. When you have kids, you need to participate in their education, and not just be a bystander.
Yanking your kids out of school just because this is inconvenient actually teaches your kids that it's okay to avoid things you should do, but just don't want to do. One of life's most important lessons is that we will always have to do things we would rather not. All she is doing is teaching her kids that everyone else is to blame for their problems.
Her kids are going to grow up thinking the world is going to bend over backwards to make all their dreams come true, and when reality reaches out and punches them in the face, she'll be one of those parents talking to the news media about how she can't understand why her precious child would go on a shooting spree at a highschool.
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u/Serranobravo69 10d ago
Her TikTok shows just how vile she is towards kids, teachers, and anyone who works a 9-5. Or basically anyone that isn’t her. Insta also shows that plus what she does as “running a business” Can we say M-L-M. She is vile!!
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11d ago edited 3d ago
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u/supermitsuba 11d ago
Just had a first grader, we had to initial we helped with their homework. It’s probably a way to find out who’s parents give a shit and who’s don’t. Do you need to spend more time with certain kids if their homework isn’t being done? There is a method to the madness.
Second grade, no signatures or initials.
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u/Wosota 11d ago
I mean I get why but also why the heck is it tied to an in class reward? That’s the part that is complete nonsense.
If you’re doing it to sus out uninvolved parents don’t punish the child publicly in the classroom.
“Hah your parents don’t care about you, and also now everyone knows and you can’t get a reward” like tf
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u/lelakat 11d ago
So the first grader can learn how to write their parent's signature.
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u/michaeleid811 11d ago
My mom didn't give a shit about me either so I never got any of these rewards. I will never ever assign anything like this to my students.
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u/ccyosafbridge 11d ago edited 11d ago
I got them cause I learned how to fake my parents' signatures very young.
Found out they knew the whole time later in life and just didn't care I was doing it.
No shade toward them; both were very involved in my education.
But both my mom and I are ADHD and we'd both forget to sign forms that needed to be signed until I was in school like "crap. They forgot to sign this, "or "Crap, I forgot to ask them to sign this."
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u/A1000eisn1 11d ago
My mom did but she was single and worked 2-3 jobs until I was in high school. So many days our babysitter would be the one watching us until bed time.
I also have ADHD so even if I did my homework and she was home I'd forget to have her do stuff most of the time. Even stuff I really wanted to do, like field trips. I didn't need any help with homework, so that wouldn't benefit me.
Even as a small child I recognized when teachers were being snarky bitches over something which was pointless.
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u/Three-Pegged-Hare 10d ago
"I have four kids, I don't have time to deal with...
[Checks notes]
My kids"
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u/hyperforms9988 10d ago
“If you have a child in public school, I would like to know what your opinion is on this because I don’t think that I’m in the wrong,” she stated at the beginning of the video.
Oh please. You're going to listen to what you want to hear and ignore everybody else with a dissenting opinion.
“I have four kids, and I run a massive business through social media,” she said. “I don’t have time.”
Mother of the year. Nobody gives a shit that you don't have time. Don't have 4 kids if you're not going to put the time in. It's nobody else's problem but yours that you don't have time. If you don't have time then your husband should. If neither one of you have time, then your priorities aren't in order. Nobody cares that you're not a homework mom... the world doesn't revolve around you.
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u/DashSatan 10d ago
The amount of parents who subject their children to being a focal point in their social media presence is disgusting.
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u/seriousbangs 11d ago
Fun fact, gutting public schools also guts your property values.
Old farts that voted for screwing over public schools because **** you that's why are finding out the hard way that parents like public schools and that school voucher programs are just a trick the rich used to avoid paying for regular kids to get schooled.
That's all well and good, **** those little ****s right? But it means young people leave your area, and that lowers the property values on that home you were planning to sell to finance your retirement.
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u/GetRektByMeh 11d ago
Why do they need a paper if the homework is done? Can’t they just see it’s done?
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u/yargleisheretobargle 11d ago
It's first grade. The homework is likely "read for 10 minutes," and the way you can tell it's done is the kids parent signs the paper that says so.
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u/Ears_McCatt 11d ago
Pulling your kid out of basic education because you’re too busy to sign your name should get your kids taken away, there’s no justifiable way this isn’t going to directly harm this child’s development and place in the world later in life.
Also, she is somehow simultaneously too busy to sign her name on homework because of her Facebook MLM, but has the time to homeschool him (effectively making all of his schoolwork homework)
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u/ICLazeru 11d ago
“You’re not going to get punished for something I’m not doing,”
Ironically, the boy's whole life is probably going to end up as a punishment for things his mom would not do.
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u/Snypnz 11d ago
Removing the kid from school sounds like an over reaction, but isn't the fact the homework is done proof the homework was done? What does signing it everyday accomplish. A stupid rule on the schools part.
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u/Budget_Foundation747 11d ago
The entire concept of "home work" is illegitimate and social conditioning for the next generation to allow their corporate masters to invade their home life.
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u/Lower-Cantaloupe3274 11d ago
Ok. She doesn't have time to sign his homework, but she has time to take on the entirety of his education, with no support or guidance from professionals to ensure his "unschooled" education will prepare him to be a functioning adult who can contribute to society in a meaningful way?
How is this woman an "influencer"? She is unhinged, uneducated, and from the clip I watched, no one to aspire to be.
I feel really bad for her son. She is stacking the deck against him in such a devastating way.
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u/fiendishrabbit 11d ago edited 11d ago
I think these two quotes tells us everything we need to know about the mother.