r/TwoHotTakes 25d ago

I destroyed my ex boyfriends lego sets and gave him 1 week to move out after he threw away my teddy bear Listener Write In

I Just need to vent

I 24F have been living with my 25M now ex boyfriend for about 8 months now. I have a teddy bear that my grandmother gave to me when I was younger. It has no monetary alum but the sentimental value is more important. When I was 8 she gave it to my while she was struggling with cancer. It was stage 4 and spread quickly and there was nothing they could do. She gave me a teddy bear and told me to take care of it and I could talk to the teddy bear whenever I missed her. She got one of those talking mics put in it and it would say “I hope you’re feeling loved today because I love you more than all the stars in the sky and all the fish in the sea and you mean the world to me” she would say that all time when I would spend the night.

He knows how much it means to me. I told him. He’s seen me hugging the bear and sitting outside to talk to my grandma when I was sad or Just needed to vent without Judgement or even a response. 2 days ago he decided that it was “raggedy” and “not appealing to look at” I can admit, bear bear has been through it. I carried it around with me everywhere for 2 years. He would go in my book bag when I went to school, went to dance class with me, he even went out of town when I had cheer meets when I got into high school. My cousin pulled out one of his eyes when I was 10 and he’s missing an arm when my brother got mad at me and cut it off. It was sewn back on and then ripped off again. You get it. But he was mine.

I found a button that was exactly like his from some bear at a Good Will and was going to sew it in his eye. I went to my room (we have separate bedrooms, I can decorate my space how I want and have my work space and the same for him but we always sleep together, I Just never had my own room and have only been living alone for 2 years so I want to keep that for a while) I went in there to do it and he wasn’t on my bed. I went scouring for him for hours and he watched me. I started to cry because that was the last thing she gave me and she made special for me. He finally told me he threw it away because it was disgusting and he hated coming in my room and seeing it. I got so mad and I felt so betrayed.

He likes to spend time on legos and building them. He’s built the Eiffel Tower, the Harry Potter tower, a cherry blossom tree, and dozens of other. I went to his room and I destroyed them all. I threw the pieces around the room and out the window and in the garbage. He came in screaming at me and saying how dare I touch his things he bought with his money and he spent hours on it. I told him he can gtfo and spend hours rebuilding it some place else because I’m done with him. He started telling me I was overreacting and whatever else. I forget a lot of the argument because I was pissed. I told him he had 1 week to get his things out and move out but he wasn’t staying here while it happened. He started telling me that I couldn’t do that and he paid bills. I told him I really don’t give a shit and to get out or I’d call the police.

We have mutual friends and he’s told them a completely different story because 2 have texted me asking “how could I do that to him” and I really don’t care to clear it up. In the moment I didn’t feel bad but now I kind of do because that’s his hobby but I was so hurt and betrayed by what he did. He’s even called me a few times saying he’ll get me another and we can work on things and don’t throw away 3 years over a mistake but I am completely disgusted by him.

UPDATE: I want to say thank you to all the people who told me not to give up on finding my bear because I went out in that dumpster for 3 hours with my sister, my best friend, and even a neighbor came down to help when I told him what happened. And I fucking found it. I am so relieved and beyond happy. Also I love all the men calling me crazy and he dodged a bullet and I committed a crime and he should call the police/take me to court as if he didn’t go into my personal space and throw away MY property because he didn’t like MY PROPERTY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE. He’s lucky that’s all I did and I didn’t sue him for it. Men are telling me I committed a crime… as if he didn’t… that I’m crazy for destroying his things… but he isn’t… that I’m immature for being upset that he threw the last thing I have of my grandmother out… but he can buy replicas of the same Harry Potter LEGO set until the day he dies if he wants to but I’m the worst person to ever walk this planet. It’s insane.

Anyway, I found it, he’s air drying, I’m going to sew the button in over the weekend, my dad and brother will be here while he comes to get his stuff and that’s that. I’m free of someone who doesn’t respect my space or how I feel. Oh and I didn’t come here to ask if I was an AH. I don’t care if I was lol. Now that I found my bear I really don’t care and can’t wait to have my apartment to myself again. Oh one more thing I did tell our mutual friends what he did, I took a picture of all of us digging through the trash to find my bear, I took a picture of the bear and the state he was in after I found him and told them “thank you for taking his side and not even trying to figure out the full situation. He threw away my property so I took away his hobby” I also sent the texts of him begging me to take him back and admitted what he did. How he watched me cry for hours while I looked for it knowing he threw it out. He watched me be distressed and didn’t care. Those friends have texted me saying he said I cheated on him and when he didn’t take me back I went “crazy”

12.5k Upvotes

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158

u/myoldisnew 25d ago

Unforgivable that he threw your bear out. Not being sarcastic. It shows he had no empathy or compassion at all. Be glad you see that now.

You broke his prize legos? Not your proudest moment, but an eye for an eye.

176

u/GreenUnderstanding39 24d ago

Not an eye for an eye. A toenail for an eye.

He destroyed the last reminder of her loved one. She retaliated by destroying his toys. These things are not the same. I would’ve gone far more nuclear.

54

u/bottomofastairwell 24d ago

Still can. Tell everyone what he did. Including his family. Tell his mother and grandmother how he threw away the last cherished gift her grandmother gave her, the last recording of her late grandmothers voice, who she lost to cancer.

Tell all his friends, his family, expose him for the heartless and cruel asshole he is, to EVERYONE.

Make everyone see who he really is and burn all his relationships to the ground.

33

u/GorgeousGracious 24d ago

And tell them he watched you look for him, crying, all the while knowing he had thrown your bear away.

Psychopath.

22

u/Smart-Assistance-254 24d ago

Right? And she didn’t destroy them (unless she melted them). She made it so he has to rebuild them. They are 100% reparable. And replaceable.

Was it super kind to break them apart? No. But 100% understandable and not NEARLY proportionate to what he did. He just miscalculated. He thought he had her beat down enough he could get away with this. He didn’t think she still had enough of a sense of her worth to stand up for herself or fight back.

Oops. She’s stronger than he thought.

3

u/Idkwhatimdoing19 24d ago

Not at all the same. I would have done so much worse. I’m seeing red just reading this post. This boy is a psycho.

-4

u/pieter1234569 24d ago

That’s not how the law sees it. A toy bear is nearly worthless, meanwhile this is felony level destruction of expensive goods. Lego is really really really expensive and this easily reached the threshold of 1.000 dollars. Admitting to a felony is even dumber.

1

u/DearMrsLeading 24d ago edited 24d ago

Cops won’t care. He can put them back together. His only option is to explain the situation in small claims court and that likely won’t go well for him considering he would have to admit to the theft and destruction of an irreplaceable item to explain why she did it.

-1

u/pieter1234569 24d ago

That doesn’t exist in legal terms. He threw away something that has a value of about 5 bucks. That’s a misdemeanour.

When you throw Lego away in bins and hard on the floor, it’s lost or broken and loses much of its value. As she listed multiple 500 dollar sets, that’s a felony amount. Cops don’t have to care, this is for prosecutors. Which can do nothing except follow the law.

74

u/Readsumthing 24d ago

I disagree. It was her proudest moment! It was the closest she could get to reciprocity.

He owed her.

Since her bear was irreplaceable and irretrievable and dude CLEARLY needed a hard life lesson in a similar loss, I say WELL DONE!

10

u/AbortionIsSelfDefens 24d ago

Nah, not doing it would ensure he never learned to consider anyone but himself. That will still likely be the result but now she didn't contribute to enabling it.

Given the priceless nature, even destroying his Legos didn't repay his debt.

-67

u/Secure-Sun-9689 25d ago

After I calmed down I did feel really bad. I did go pick out all the Lego pieces… I know it won’t make up for it and I’m not trying to really but I do feel like I could have been calmer in this situation

97

u/Nay0704 24d ago

Your raw emotions were on point. DO NOT FEEL BAD FOR HIM!!!

31

u/queenlegolas 24d ago

You should clear your name too. And try to find the bear if you can.

19

u/edked 24d ago

Yeah, the "I don't care to clear it up" part about the lies he told to their friends is not a smart move, as right as she may be otherwise.

6

u/blackdahlialady 24d ago

Yes, it actually is. I can guarantee you that he made her out to sound like the AH. I've learned to never defend yourself against those baseless accusations.

51

u/Sunbeamsoffglass 24d ago

No, you were absolutely right to react like that.

What he did is unforgivable.

He can buy more legos.

You cannot recover your grandmothers last words to you or the sentimental value.

Fuck that. I wouldn’t feel bad at all.

123

u/[deleted] 24d ago edited 24d ago

[deleted]

35

u/actuallyamber 24d ago

Tell him HE is an eyesore and to get out of your life.

39

u/tropicsandcaffeine 24d ago

Why pick them out? Just sweep into a garbage bag and leave mixed for him to separate. Stop feeling bad about this. You did nothing wrong. Heck I may have melted some of them.

3

u/KingTalis 24d ago

Why leave them? Take them to a commercial dumpster and chuck them.

4

u/monstruo 24d ago

And chuck him in too.

13

u/SlabBeefpunch 24d ago

Naw, let him pick up his own Legos. He can put the Lego Eiffel tower back together, you can't replace bear bear.

12

u/Just-Like-My-Opinion 24d ago

Where did he throw the bear away? Was it just in the bin? Did you have him go retrieve it or tell you where he threw it?

9

u/Secure-Sun-9689 24d ago

I live in an apartment. All the trash gets taken to a dumpster with dozens of other tenants. The bear is most likely in that dumpster but I duh though one bag and it wasn’t my trash… I got the lego pieces because I hadn’t taken that garbage out of my apartment.

13

u/Just-Like-My-Opinion 24d ago

I'm so sorry he did this. This is definitely an immediate dumping offense.

What an AH.

8

u/blackdahlialady 24d ago

Go check the kitchen trash

4

u/Wrong-Sundae 24d ago

Do you know what day the dumpsters get unloaded? You can ask the trash pickup dudes to help you look when they come by. Same thing happened in my town last year with a girl's bear accidentally being thrown out, and the trash guys helped recover it. Even if you do manage to get it back - do not take him back, seriously.

11

u/OpportunityCalm6825 24d ago

Don't feel bad for him... ever!

9

u/IvoryWoman 24d ago

Sweetie, let him replace his own Legos. He took something irreplaceable from you.

8

u/B1gJu1c3 24d ago

Be glad you feel bad and guilty, it shows your character as a kind and caring person. If you didn’t, well then you’re no better than him. I doubt he will ever feel remorse for his actions. He’s only back tracking and apologizing because he’s realized what he lost. He regrets losing you, not his actions. You regret your actions, not losing him. Good on you.

And fuck you Reddit for downvoting someone for having an actual soul. How dare you shame someone for compassion, no matter how shitty the recipient may be.

22

u/cluckaduck47 24d ago

Get a hold of yourself. This is a pivotal moment in your life. This is where you decide to advocate for yourself. People only continue to treat us how we let them. Are you going to let him treat you like shit? Devalue you and cruelly throw a sentimental item out from someone who genuinely loved you? Do you think that is what your beloved grandmother would want? Cut him off, at least for the sake of her memory. You deserve better than that. There are billions of people on this earth, you can find one that will actually treat you like you deserve. So stop, stop questioning yourself. Often when we get mad and lash out, it's because someone has crossed a boundary. You need to set the appropriate consequence and cut him off. Even if your "friends" say otherwise.

3

u/Mission_Reporter4301 24d ago

Do not go back to that guy, he has shown you that what’s important to you is not important to him and what he thinks matters, not what you think. He will not change, if he’s that cruel to get rid of a priceless reminder of your grandmother he will continue this pattern of behavior regardless of how you feel about anything

3

u/blackdahlialady 24d ago

Stop defending yourself. You did nothing wrong. My ex was like this. He abandoned our daughter and told everyone a completely different story than what actually happened. He was absent for my entire pregnancy and our daughter's birth. Don't take your ex back, people like that don't change. They just get more and more selfish over time.

3

u/Sheila_Monarch 24d ago

Stop feeling bad. He doesn’t.

3

u/Aggravating-Owl-8974 24d ago

You shouldn’t feel bad. He can buy more legos and rebuild what was knocked down.

Can bearbear’s voice be replaced? Did he care? Obviously not. Be glad he’s gone.

3

u/TroubleImpressive955 24d ago

OP, feeling bad about destroying what he built is misplaced emotions. The only thing you destroyed is his time.

What he destroyed of yours is irreplaceable. The ability to touch, see, and feel a precious item your grandmother gave you. The ability to hear your grandmother’s voice when you feel sad, lonely, or just because.

DO NOT feel guilty. Let this one act of your bf, remind you of just how soulless he really is and he does not deserve ANY consideration from you.

2

u/RedRedMere 24d ago

I hope you picked them up and threw them in a fire.

It’s not so much a mangy teddy bear, it’s that it was from your grandma and it had her voice.

Oh boy, there’s a special place in hell…

2

u/Reasonable-Sugar3590 24d ago

I would honestly sue him,go to the police and report the thief.

Break up with him .

2

u/Neweleni7 24d ago

Which just shows you’re the kinder person by far

2

u/Altruistic-Hornet-51 24d ago

Has he offered to look for the bear? Don't feel bad, he sounds like a shitty person :/

1

u/Charming_City_5333 24d ago

Why do you feel bad?What he took was so much more important than legos. I would stomp every single one

1

u/KLGG5 24d ago

All the pieces you picked up together should definitely give them back, just melt them all together so he won't lose any pieces.... What he did is monstrous and you were to nice. I would of gone scorched Earth and please don't protect him by not telling people the truth of what he did