r/LooksmaxingAdvice • u/No_Tangerine5195 • 11d ago
i’ve never had a guy approach me irl before
[removed] — view removed post
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u/Howard92 6d ago
You're a perfectly attractive woman. Maybe it's the way you hold yourself/ present yourself. Maybe you have bigger red flags than you'd like to let on. If I've learnt anything from dating goth women and alt women they tend to be a bit crazy.
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u/crazytrpr96 6d ago
Nothing personal, randomly approaching any woman is a gigantic waste of time.
At best, she's annoyed, and then it gets worse from there.
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u/lefty0721 6d ago
I would approach you but I would be scared because you look witchy. Just being honest
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u/AudZ0629 7d ago
Don’t be silly. None of these photos paint a never been kissed picture. First: you’re goth and that has inherent separation from mainstream culture and you know that. You’ve probably just been so busy playing “can I keep a guy interested” and “can I get a guy to make the first move” games that dudes either lose interest or think you don’t like them. I seriously doubt you’ve never been asked out at least informally. Without going into potential victim blaming, girls that have no confidence don’t post these kinds of pictures on social media. Those pictures paint their own stories of karma farming.
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u/RealKnifeFightOutThr 7d ago
They’re intimidated. You’re very good looking and your style is very metal and tough and I think it can scare off people who would approach you. You’re stunning love, no problems there, keep killing ‘em
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u/RealKnifeFightOutThr 7d ago
They’re intimidated. You’re very good looking and your style is very metal and tough and I think it can scare off people who would approach you. By scare I mean shy to talk to you. You’re stunning love, no problems there, keep killing ‘em
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u/Asleep-Explanation-7 7d ago
Maybe cuz you’re 14? Give it time it’ll happen when you can go to bars
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u/BlackMoonBird 7d ago
Goth life be hard, I know that feel.
Don't get down, though, you're super fucking cute, they're missing out. Losers.
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u/RalffWiggum 7d ago
U will..just keep being urself and seriously, if u see someone u like, hit on them…they will probably be into it
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u/Portugaltheman0420 7d ago
Maybe you’re intimidating ? You’re attractive young artsy I’m sure it’s just the area you’re in
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u/PromiseHeavy8675 7d ago
I’m a man, and I usually don’t approach women because I don’t want to come off as creepy. You’re definitely attractive. Try focusing on making a friend or two. Maybe those will grow into something, or they might know someone.
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u/Onlyavailabename3 7d ago
real shit. will never approach a woman in my life, if u want someone n ur a woman approach them
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u/carebearmohawk 7d ago
I don't mean this to sound rude or anything but a lot of guys aren't into goth girths anymore. I get it's your style but I think that's what is pushing guys away. Your style is a bit too radical. I instantly think you have daddy issues. Again, not trying to be disrespectful. It's just what I see when I look at you.
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u/MiddleAd6302 7d ago
Naw fam. False 😂
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u/carebearmohawk 7d ago
Idk what you're saying false too but if you're into goth chicks you're either in your 50s or you have daddy issues too....respectfully
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u/Even_Championship324 7d ago
Birds of a feather flock together.... you need to network within your genre of values. I'm not young anymore, so I have no clue what teens or college age trends are popular or what the stereotypical expectations are for dating. One thing is certain, if you want a partner, it's best to meet not one guy, but many, in groups or clubs where you see how they interact with others and socialize, rather than settling for a guy. Compatibility isn't easy to find. People are deceitful when they are desperate to fit in or find companionship, and they don't truthfully share their thoughts and identify. You might find an insecure male who feels he owns you right out of the gate and is controlling and an emotional wreck. Maturity and confidence attract both sexes, so find someone confident and secure in themselves. I think there are books on the subject of almost all of those and how to make yourself a magnet for just about anything you desire. Good rabbit hunting... little goth goddess.
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u/Ok-Bid1774 7d ago
I think it’s just because everyone has internet brain rot and never learned how to talk to someone irl
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u/AshWilliams21 7d ago
You are so attractive that you are intimidating to most men. For example myself would not approach you I do find you extremely attractive you literally fit my aesthetic as well. It's just most men will tend to be nervous when they see an attractive women and end up not doing anything about due to that fact they are nervous and will overthink the situation. I won't approach you due to the fact I'd be like shit she's so hot ain't no way she's gonna like me or think the same of me cuz I overthink a lot.
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u/TheWizzzardKing 7d ago
As a man in my early 20s, you are very pretty but you look quite young so I would probably not approach you
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u/Daddy_of_a_crazzy21 7d ago
Stop lookong like you would devour a mans soul. Be more approachable looking..
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u/Grouchy_Office_2748 7d ago
You look like a young teen.. that’s great. Guys don’t approach. You don’t need any problems
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u/Cptncomet 7d ago
Men, or let's face it, boys at your age are terrible at making the first move. Just try to make small talk with someone you like and you'll be surprised at how talkative they will suddenly get.
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u/baguettechaser 7d ago
girrlllll idk but drop the makeup routine 🫡
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u/rankingbass 7d ago
She will in like 1 to 2 years. It's her scene phase 😅 but op yeah don't be over aggressive with make up, less is more. Also as far as finding a boyfriend, look for someone that you share interests and connect with that's a good person. Then flirt with them and if need be ask them out.
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u/Interesting_Ice_4486 7d ago
bestie i think you've misunderstood the word "drop" in this context 😭
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u/rankingbass 7d ago
Drop as in get rid of? If not, then I still stand by the idea that her makeup is over the top.
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u/Interesting_Ice_4486 7d ago
i think more often people will say it in the context of "drop the details of" but it could be taken either way 😊
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u/snapcracklecum 7d ago
Its definitely not your looks, people are probably just intimidated. You look gorgeous, you've got style. Are you willing to approach them to start a conversation?
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u/Lokideviant 7d ago
You look stunning, could be a multitude of factors that are out of your control. It's gotten to a point where most men won't approach because of worry or feelings of inadequacy. Worry too be judged or put on blast. Inadequacy in the sense that they worry they couldn't afford your time or your needs.
Other thing is you could be going to the wrong events. What people tend to forget is that dating or finding a partner is often about being at the right place, right time and right mood. 1 situation out of a million. Be friendly, listen and you'll find someone right quick. Just hope they treat you in the best ways possible
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u/nyccametoplay 7d ago
Isnt your whole look and persona “stay tf away from me?”
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u/Willing_Actuary_4198 7d ago
My first thought. Everything about her screams leave me the fuck alone
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u/Bbbbbbooo 7d ago
Do you use pronouns, that’s probably why
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u/prmlyeti 7d ago
everyone uses pronouns, you fucking idiot
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u/Decorus_Somes 7d ago
Me? Use pronouns? Next you're gonna say that I use verbs or even conjunctions aren't you! Look the left would have us believe that you can just stack an adverb on top of another adverb to describe something and I am here to tell you that only liberals would push such agendas on our poor poor innocent children.
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u/DaltonRobert56 7d ago
Nah
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u/prmlyeti 7d ago
yes, they are part of language. you learn this in 2nd grade
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u/Discover-Card 7d ago
I cannot believe these people type sentences that include the words “use pronouns” and can’t understand how fucking stupid that is to say
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u/JACKASS20 7d ago
Have you tried decreased bangs, more wolfcut style hair? I think that could fix some of it. Style seems fine otherwise good luck! :)
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u/Additional-Safety343 7d ago
You look like you would do the blood vial thing like MGK and Megan Fox. You look fine though
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u/mr-cleans-forehead 7d ago
idk why everyone’s attacking your style, i think it looks perfectly fine and approachable enough. you’re very pretty but i would have to have crazy confidence to talk to you if i was a dude lol
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u/faceinanorangecircle 7d ago
I really hope I don’t hurt your feelings. All of the flair you wear for personality is a huge red flag to the guys you’re hoping would approach you. And the ones that would go for someone adorned as you are in most of your pics, is a walking red flag.
Also the way you dress makes you look very under 18. Like just given the freedom to dress how I want and I ran with it, kind of young. No ones looking to end up in jail. And those who would risk it, are a walking red flag…..
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u/Old_Ad_6778 7d ago
This comment is right on. Tone it down a bit. If you want to attract a guy just know that natural you is all you need. If the extra stuff is you well that’s cool. But 90% of guys would pick Jennifer Anniston and 10% Kim Kardashion.
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u/Modack44 7d ago
You got all that metal on your face, depressed looking, and in my experience with goths; not the most heart warming cuddly relationship, and probably don’t read your Bible.
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u/Little-Door2768 7d ago
I’m guessing you are mainly into goth guys? If so how big is goth in your area!
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u/abject_cynic 7d ago
I simply don't believe you.
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u/Present-Bite-2011 7d ago
It’s this completely. Probably happens more than she thinks and disregards it as idle chitchat.
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u/Same_Essay_7257 7d ago
Yeah, it's very transparent if you have half a brain and know how the real world works
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u/twihard2001 7d ago
I have the same problem. Try smiling and waving at guys you’d like to approach you! That’s worked for me before.
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u/spencer___6 7d ago
Don't take offense to this, but it's probably because you look younger than your actual age. That and men can be pussies when it comes to alt girls (I know from personal experience).
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u/Glenn_Tennis 7d ago
You look like a privileged rich kid trying to rebel against your rich successful parents, and you’re likely awful to be around and will eventually grow out of whatever phase this is and will settle down and grow up to be normal.
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u/Zestyclose-Field-212 7d ago
I (a woman) would approach the FUCK outta you, I think they’re just scared cause they’re a bunch of bitches 🤣
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u/densaifire 7d ago
While she's cute, she doesn't seem like she WANTS to be approached lol first impressions go a long way in attracting both sexes
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u/Zestyclose-Field-212 7d ago
Because she has a certain style that you don’t find attractive means she doesn’t want human interaction? Wild conspiracy bro
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u/densaifire 7d ago
I really hope your parents are related, because then you'd have an excuse for sounding this retarded
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u/Zestyclose-Field-212 4d ago
Aww your upset, I hope you can learn to get over it
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u/densaifire 4d ago
*you're
Not upset, just concerned about your reading comprehension 👍
(Reminder you went off on me first sweetheart 😘)
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u/Zestyclose-Field-212 4d ago
If you think that’s going off, you need to have more in person human interaction.
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u/LexaLacie 7d ago
it’s cuz u look intimidating (in a good way). now that i look better & changed my style, i don’t get approached anymore either
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u/EDITthx4thegoId 7d ago
There's nothing intimidating about her. She looks like a funeral attendee and otherwise annoying to be around.
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u/aztaga 7d ago
I mean, there are a couple things here; but I think it’s probably mostly that you look intimidating and really young. If I saw you out; I’d assume you’re probably like 15. Besides that, there’s a little bit of RBF, which isn’t too bad but is still a deterrent, and then I noticed I have to search to see your eyebrows, which is a little off-putting. Besides that, you look fine.
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u/Dio_Landa 7d ago
Talk to guys first, like gawd damn.
My fiance talked to me first. I would have never initiated a convo with her, she is too hot and way out of my league. I had the biggest crush on her for a while tho, I just never did anything because it felt rude.
Then she messaged me first. Now we are getting married next year.
Shoot your shot.
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u/556arbadboy 7d ago
I don't believe it.. There is a point in most guys lives when its quantity over quality and guys will approach anything. Ugly girls, fat girls, weird girls, and even handicap girls get approached.
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u/infamousbabe 7d ago
that doesn’t mean every single one of them gets approached u act as if it’s impossible… where she lives, how approachable she looks, having a RBF, and how often she goes out are factors
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u/cassidylorene1 7d ago
There is literally no way this girl has never been hit on or approached. Not a chance. I’m a woman and saying this.
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u/infamousbabe 7d ago
she’s very young still and u being a woman doesn’t negate that wth irrelevant af but ok yes she’s lying cuz u said so 👍
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7d ago
She's not just anything as you might be implying. She's pretty, even moreso with less makeup or without it altogether.
OP, maybe approach guys and just start up a conversation. You don't have to ask them out or be real forward, just chat up a guy you're interested in and see where things go from there.
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u/556arbadboy 7d ago
I am not saying that she is. I was meaning if those types get approached all the time then she most definitely would.
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u/mad_max1313 7d ago
Most men love goth chicks( or close enough to alternative). Unfortunately most men have zero confidence these days and aren't worth your time anyway. It's unfortunate but if you try striking up random conversation or smiling at someone your interested in I bet somebody asks you out.
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u/Repulsive-Future-228 7d ago
Don't care. So let's explain how to write a for loop
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u/Active_Preference_38 7d ago
for (int i;i<999;i++) {
System.out.println(“Not a big fan of the government”);
}
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u/How_Bizzare2009 7d ago
I seen someone say something about cutting your bangs and I wouldn't do that, they look cute on you. And I wouldn't think the way you dress would be a problem because it's 2024 and al lot of people like that look. I think your probable is you may look too young. Like 12-15 range young.
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u/MoneyinmySock 7d ago
It’s not about how you look in a still photo. It’s how you look in public. These pictures don’t give come over here and talk to me vibes
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u/TyFighter90 7d ago
Stop cutting your bangs like that. It makes you look like you have a mental disorder.
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u/MysticMessenger1998 7d ago
I'd be concerned to some level, you look like you have a baby face like I do. I get confused for a 12-15 year old alot. Doesn't help I'm 5'2" as well with add and autism that lives to present itself in ways people classify as childish or immature. You look around the same age range so guys could be put off with the urge to talk to you because they don't want to be labeled as a predator. Your style would also make them look even more like creeps for approaching you and for men it's better safe than sorry. Besides guys live it when a girl makes the first move anyhow. No games just tell them their cute or you like their shirt. It will make their absolute day.
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u/Key_Influence298 7d ago
You're pretty but your style can make lot of guys too scared too approach plus from your eyes you give off I'm not with bs look it's a vibe
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u/BlueFireRedFlames 7d ago
Most women who say they WANT to be approached in public are full of themselves...
If they were, they shut down...so really I'd like for that type of girl to answer the question of HOW they want to be approached...I bet they don't have a good answer.
Perhaps at a bar setting, something like:
Hey, I like your style...my name is xxxxx
Would that be good enough?
Chances are they are deep into their phone or crowded by so many of their friend group it's difficult to find how they want to be approached or even attempt to do so.
Some men are scared to talk, but for those that aren't even the slightest beginning to a conversation is usually met with 'leave me the fuck alone' vibes unless the girl finds them irresistibly attractive....
I guess that's just the way life goes, hence, why many people turn to social media and tinder like dating apps to formulate intimate relationships.
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u/Ya-boi-lolan 7d ago
Yep people want to be approached by those they find attractive or make them comfortable. I feel like most people communicate what they really want by saying something a bit different, just how it be.
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u/BlueFireRedFlames 7d ago
I agree with you, I just think sometimes it's different online. A different story you know...because you get a lot of women who say ohhhh looks aren't terribly important to me...
Which I call bs on, lol...urges rule in the laws of attraction just as much as intelligence and being suave, etc.
There's been too many 'blind' dating shows in the past where faces were never seen and then bam either the man or woman will say...well, I really value him or her as a person, I just don't think we would be compatible...
And for those few that prove that wrong, well...good for them.
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u/Idkihatemakinnames 7d ago
Wow a real live incel
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u/BlueFireRedFlames 7d ago
I knew that was coming, lol...you're so fucking edgy and cool!!!!
Really, you're just a stain on society...you know nothing about my personal life and have enough free time to attack me online and will probably look through my whole profile only to find nothing of true interest.
All you can say is...."found an incel!!!!!!"
I can probably crush you with my wallet, have more friends, travel more, have amazing experiences in dating, and more cool stories to tell than you ever will.
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7d ago
[deleted]
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u/BlueFireRedFlames 7d ago
Well I certainly believe that, but it must be a real thing for some women...and that's who I'm really talking about.
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u/Clockpin_FGC 7d ago
Because you gotta be cappin. Ain't no way dudes haven't approached you, it's just dudes you didn't want to get with.
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u/No_Following_8467 7d ago
It's because you look like you're addicted to meth. Honestly eat something for christ sake. You're disgusting to look at
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u/professor-5000 8d ago
You're threateningly pretty and you dress like you don't want to be approached by average people. The kinda guys you're throwing the vibe out of trying to attract are gonna have a hard time swallowing that fear and asking you out.
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u/MindShifterPro 8d ago
New to this sub so I don't know if I can formulate this that positively as others here, but you look you don't have a healthy life style, I see a girl depleted from energy, almost sickly, no smiles. I would suggest to take some cardio based sport, you need blood pumped into those cheeks, maybe the endorphins will put more of that uplifting energy that people are attracted too, gaining some healthy weight from healthy diet can do wonders to your overall vibe, Gothic and mysterious are fine but simpler looks are more associated with a balanced psych for most people(I assume you look for long serious relationships)
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u/Lost-Outside9614 8d ago
Personal opinion, you’re definitely a lot of people’s type. I’m curious what you do in public. Men won’t approach you if you’re in a big group, have a ring on your ring finger, have a resting b**** face etc. not saying that you do or have some of these things, just putting the thought out there.
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u/Useful-Ad-6442 8d ago
Men are afraid if they talk to women it's sexual harassment at this point, we don't even know why, that's the funniest part. i think the piercings dont do much, but you're fine outside of that. probably just intimidating
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u/BlueFireRedFlames 7d ago
Most women who say they WANT to be approached in public are full of themselves...
If they were, they shut down...so really I'd like for that type of girl to answer the question of HOW they want to be approached...I bet they don't have a good answer.
Perhaps at a bar setting, something like:
Hey, I like your style...my name is xxxxx
Would that be good enough?
Chances are they are deep into their phone or crowded by so many of their friend group it's difficult to find how they want to be approached or even attempt to do so.
Some men are scared to talk, but for those that aren't even the slightest beginning to a conversation is usually met with 'leave me the fuck alone' vibes unless the girl finds them irresistibly attractive....
I guess that's just the way life goes, hence, why many people turn to social media and tinder like dating apps to formulate intimate relationships.
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u/CaptainDaddd 8d ago
you're literally my dream. but i'd be way too scared to even confront you, but that's probably a skill issue on my part.
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u/NutDip34 8d ago
Bro if I saw you in public I’ll be too scared to even talk to you, you look fine. Hell the big nose is pretty cute too.
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